Recent Jesus messages

MESSAGES FROM JESUS

Precious daughter at last you are ready to hear me! That brings great joy to heaven – hallelluiah! You have only to receive that is your greatest function – to receive the LOVE OF GOD and be so filled up with it that it must burst forth from you and radiate out in every direction – aaah light effulgent and love eternal are you now
this is your steady state as I assured you yesterday – you have successfully shed detached from and overthrown almost every one of the myriad negators which we allowed to assail you in order that you have true clarity and genuine empathy………..the dream of Andy last night was not to pull you back into his darkness but to be his beacon as you always have been if you did but know it. He has relied upon your guiding light these long years and touches his forehead to your heart in humble sorrow right now. There is nothing that needs to be done – rather it has been the process of transcending the shadow – yours and his, as well as the collective shadow. This has now been accomplished by sufficient brave stalwart souls to enable the overthrow of the mass shadow.
Souls are pouring out of purgatory right now to join the choirs of angels uplifting humankind and restoring grace, replacing vice with virtue and fear with love transglobally. There has never been a better time to simply be, in your divine presence as co-creative One with God. You seem surprised that God would grant Oneness with His creation? But do you not seek Oneness with the beloved also? God brought forth all glorious beautiful expressions of Himself and breathed life and abundant fruitfulness into them, and loves them each equally. Man however is different in the respect of his willful self awareness………albeit very narrowly experienced due to conditioning control and self oppression. Remember how you blocked your own power out of lack of trust in yourself and fear of causing pain to anyone? That was a very early choice which cost the world dear – a choice taken by almost every other human of your time also. Now that this negativity has been erased, surrendered up to God and replaced with His Omniscient Will, you are free to conceive from your shared ideals and secret visions!
Go outside and breathe the air which comes from the west, bringing with it fresh hope and renewed joy, and know beyond all doubt that I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. All is well, all is unfolding perfectly in Divine right order.
You have always been safe in the palm of God my angel, always.

SAT 4TH AUGUST.

I am wondering Jesus, if it is true that I am really through the portal already, just delayed cognition due to habitual thoughts and practices? Because yesterday felt so very much quieter everywhere, far fewer cars and people and noise around me, that I fantasised that 7/8th of the population had simply vanished. I could only see this as a benefit to earth, which is probably wicked of me as God values every hair on everyone’s head………..please clarify what is really going on, occurring upcoming and passing away………..indeed more importantly
WHAT IS NOW?

Beloved daughter of love and light! Ahh it has been a while coming has it not, this self awakened being in the potent purposive now moment? Have you not also noticed the absence of cues such as antagonistic emanations from your disapproving brothers……hah so thats what is missing the old familiar rub and scrape down the shin – ouch the old accustomed teatowel on the thigh and donkeybit deadleg……………Roger has shifted his attitude towards you at last, and has rediscovered his love for you. That is a big breakthrough for you both. Also Mark is softening by the second, his interior walls dissolving as those loop tapes of judgmental condemnatory meanness are purged. This is necessary as these two were your primary gaolers in this lifetime – your desire for their love support and acceptance was so very important that you allied your own ascension with theirs – even as far as declaring you would not come home without them………….good that you did for no other could have lifted their dense suffocating veil of hatred from their psyche – none but you precious sister of Light! Now that this has been accomplished, you will discover sweet flowing stream yes there it runs beneath your feet, it is the actual and representational conduit of cleansing healing holy river of conscience that was dammed up and now unimpededly carries away to the core of the planet any and all released memories and emotions.

Oh wow I feel it Lord! I hear the babbling of the water inches below my feet, its soothing sound drowning out the negative selftalk in my head…it is such a relief after all these years of listening to those dark lies being thought about me – oh how light and refreshed I am!

And there is something more – I sense my two brothers flanking me – Mark on my left and Roger on my right, and Mum above me, Dad below me, so that I am buffered and protected by their love, just as family was meant to be but which toxic stuff spoiled. Now I realise we form a cross! We form a cross, because they have been my cross to bear through life, and this has been mutual of course – sorry all for my indolent forcefulness, or whatever it was that I was which caused irritation pain or anger in each of you. I forgive myself for all of that, as I forgive you for all of that, and we come together as the love that we truly be here and now, a strength beyond all knowing! Ah I dimly sense the power of family, of blood ties in the way God intended them to be – before the first murder, before the first jealousy, before the first idea of control ever occurred…………there was / is now a beautiful shining rainbow of forcefield which is infinitely extensible and retractable, throughout space and time…….oh how beautiful this is
where is Iona in this energetic cross I ask? She seems to be right up close, behind me…..at first puzzled by this, why would she not be before me, I receive an understanding that I come before her to guide and lead, to demonstrate and clear her way……….and because I am transparent to her I do not block her view nor impede her movement in any way , now that we have cleared our filters away! Oh beautiful image, wonderful feeling!

And that begged the question who is before me? Andy? That would seem to complete the picture. But of course he is absent from my energy field by his own banishment……….or is he? No not absent at all as I indeed have asserted many a time and oft –:”the other side of the world is too close”…..hmmmmm so here he is, some way ahead forging fearless through undergrowth for us in the only gifting of paternity he currently is in allowance of, due to his own still unhealed paternal wounds………..rapidly healing though, rapidly healing and all is as it needs to be – if he pinged back too rapidly that would be chaotic and disruptive. Sufficient it is then to know he is never absent…………
now I realise I am in the perfect place! Hah! I am surrounded by love aaaahhhh…………a genuine unconditional transcendant love. And there are many more souls surrounding me on all sides, not too close but respectfully tenderly and caringly there………….ooh there just came a ping, a poignant ping of recognition of each of these as aspects of the oneself ooh how delightful is that! As above so below – where God fractalised Himself into countless scattered shards, each containing holding and expressing, sensing and emitting, His Grace throughout the cosmos, so too each of “us” seemingly separate be ings is the same delightfully expanded attribute of His glorious awareness outpicturing itself in all directions and through all dimensions AND SO IT IS

Precious child of grace there is no need for any do ing at all, there is no need to refrain from any activity either, so simply allow yourself to freely express, rest, dance, swing, laugh, sing – FREELY IN EVERY PERFECT BLISSFILLED MOMENT for you are being recalibrated flushed healed realigned and tuned up very fast and continuously now – your new state begins to set itself in its harmonious aligned fluidic sensate responsivity! Yes if the image of an amoebic ultra flexible extendably retractable bubble of containment helps you to visualise your new form then use it until you realise how vastly you have exceeded unicellularity – hah! Gently now, this is vast, yes see there is void yet there is no fall no fly there is – YES GOOD there is intention and instantaneous response in fact, so go easy steady baby steps for now this is a very familiar yet utterly new exploratory voyage…………….a bit like yes the flying car pitching and yawing whilst its pilot learns its capabilities – except that
not to blow you away but this “vehicle” has no boundaries nor limits.sssshhhhhhhhhhhhh…….be still and know that I AM
GOOD always come back to this high heart temple within always remember you have the ability the right and the duty to remain silent and still wrapt in awe here and now with ME
for it can only be from here from this that you are effective, constant, contiguous, congruent, comfortable, clear, coherent, confident, creational, co-creational, compatible,
no do not be tempted to reach out yet that will not work until you focus upon what / where / who / when your intention seeks for…………..suffice it to gnow that all of everything is instantaneously available to you now. All of history / herstory, all worlds dimensions beings creaturelyness yes every minute and massive (no difference!) “thing” from subatomic to intergalactic shhhhhhhhhhh
yes a bit like Jake Scully’s experience of finding himself in the Avatar form, this is available to you should you choose it – dolphin whale eagle and redwood oooh oh exquisite
yes beloved one all is instantaneously available – uhhuh including the darker thangs also….no need for trepidation, no need for attraction of curiosity for verily this life in earth and “truthawe” has more than satisfied any such prurient peering has it not – good, and so it is, so let it be, all has its place, you shall soon truly understand why suffering has been permitted, why cruelty, why all of those we do not need to focus upon any more, for we are through the polarisation chamber now, free and clear, out of the clutches of fear and driven desire such freedom

before re-reading Jesus message from yesterday I want to write where I am now, for it is different ;

I managed to go for a good walk into the countryside, lay down at the edge of a newly mown field in the perfect warmth and fell asleep. When I woke up I was still fuzzy, but happier, and stopped by the slow flowing stream which was very full due to all of the recent rain. A man appeared, smiling from a distance and clearly extending peaceful kindly intent, and we chatted for a minute, he shared that his wife was heavily pregnant so could not come walking, it will be their first child.
Whether it was the happiness reminder of this, or the message that precious gift of new life continues through the roughest times – including now when some are anticipating the last days………..anyway I walked on much uplifted. Then I realised the mulberries were very ripe, falling into my hand and bursting bloodred, dripping down my arms! Even though a part of me had to retain awareness because Begoss was in the road, most of me dived into a mulberry haze as I crammed my mouth with the sweetest fruits imaginable! Normally mulberries have a tart sharper edge to them, but these were overripe and yet undisturbed by wasps which usually have discovered them by now. In fact I have not seen a single wasp this year, and a mere handful of butterflies, even at the allotment.

This drama “The Promise” on 4 OD I have been watching is very illuminating, and terrible. It caused me to be oh so very grateful to be living here at this time, and not elsewhere, even though part of me has hankered for more exotic shores for the longest time. I am grateful to have been placed, and gently held, here. The whole world can come to me if I remain centred and awake, is that not so?

Beloved daughter you have come through yet another passage of the birthing canal – yes they are many staged labourings, you begin to realise. It has to be so, or no mortal would survive the ordeal to become their Christed crystalline eternal self! For verily this is the Grand plan of Perfection our heavenly Father instigated and oversees constantly………and as you already realise, time being a temporary temporal 3D construct, the linearity has already gone all wavy and wobbly has it not. Usually people only appreciate and attain this in their last hours or days of life, but there are thousands of you currently moving through this treacle-like slowed down timescape not linearly but progressively compressing not merely this current life but all of your myriad of multiple selfs across all dimensions timelines and focuses of the one being you are coming to recognise as your unified selfhood. This is a massive undertaking requiring utmost trust and unwavering focus from not merely yourself and higher aspects but the company of heaven and all who went before associated with you..that is why you have read about the heavenly party already underway which is making some annoyed who are suffering very greatly from their egoic personhood that thinks it is understading and in control ,when in truth all egoic personhood must be jettisoned and non-understanding non-rational uncontrol be embraced just as you are doing. It is impossible for ego to fit throrugh the eye of this cervix! Ego is a cumbersome slow dullard, not genuine as you well know, and its function has almost expired, again as you know. Be then in joy of the light freshness with which you are now capable of conversing with those on your path, in love and respectful namaste, in mutual appreciation of the work each other has put in to attain this level of awakeness.
Do not be brought down by depictions of humanity’s mob rule or group cruelty as shoown in regimental scrubbings and other ritualised initiatory horrors you know about – that is a very small aspect of people and is being burned off rapidly now. It is definitely allied to the power over conformity control dynamic which has zero place in the ascended world to which you have always belonged. There are two worlds yes, as in parallel and which some may cross between like mortal physical angels if they wish. This is not your concern here and now, what matters now is both centredness and intentional pushing through at the same time – meaning a non local expanded gravitas here in high heart with Me, and a free floating attentive guided purposeful choosing to avoid negativity in all its forms – especially that arising from your own thought, frequently seeded by others around or influencing you. None may enter our sacred place, ever, that is sacrosanct protected and secret.
Lord Jesus, part of me still hangs back dragging me from fullest commitment, or so it seems……..who is this person, and is she wise and benevolent or not…………and is this part of me who spontaneously does and says things, like giving away lifesavings and Fyuchia and my right to practise…………who is she?
Child of Love you have never shirked from responsibility nor abandoned any project or person, truly . ..even at your worst when you went to America you left Iona in very capable hands and it brought out many strengths in her which you had been suppressing by your overcompensation for years. Meaning – it was necessary – so yes beloved child of Grace this person IS WISE AND BENEVOLENT ND INSPIRED and she does and will step in, even to throwing you from your bike if necessary – for “she” will help you to get where you have to be simply speaking she is your higher self reaching through you and overriding your limited fearful egoic or rational linear self – for this One has superior connectivity to Source and exquisite sensitivity to the energetics, and is basically an all round wondrous expanded aspect of your little me who should have been left behind on the pages of that old book you wrote………..sweet child of grace, there is no mistake, there has been no missed opportunity, all is perfectly congruently flowingly appropriately PERFECT!!!!

Yesterday looking at Iona’s Waverley Abbey photos so happy with her friends you felt a twinge of sadness and left out…………but truly she/they would never have had that joy had you not laid its foundation stone by the loving exploratory journeyings you made happen for her to those very places when she was younger – ah yes beautiful is it not. She is there, enjoying it all, she is going on with your torch, blessed daughter, she is strengthened by your seeds. What a tribute
and it is perfect that she no longer needs you to facilitate things for her, much, and that she now is returning the love and care to you, even though you have those typical older person stubborn independence so very familiar from parents and patients you have noticed all your life : IT IS NATURAL to feel weird as tables appear to turn, but yielding with good grace, being grateful and willing to receive, these are coming naturally with them too……how beautiful appropriate and perfect is that?!
So too Charlotte will not harbour anger in her heart towards you for much longer – she sorely misses your presence, your smile, your love, your reassurance and your wisdom. She will be a granny before you, and she is soon to lose her parents, all powerful rites of passage during which she will yearn for the rock of truth and gentle strength that is her Friend Ruth. It is not necessary to wait for her to contact you – simply keep up the contact with her energetically by releasing and forgiving her for all of her weaknesses and failings, just as you expect her to do with you, just as all friends must – there is no other way, for none of us is entirely congruent, and if we were it would not be productive – grit makes the pearl remember.
Now more importantly to this day, there is an energetic wave approaching which will knock most off their feet, but which as a consummate spiritual surfer you will ride the crest of with ease…………for you have been preparing for this your whole life in fact. It is time to come fully back into your body, and direct things not from the conning tower but from the epicentre of yes this sacred heart we share – truly truly I tell you Ruth, my heart and yours are One Heart……how can this be the rational mind is troubling – well let it trouble and puzzle over its worrybone whilst WE ah yes here we be, together.

Thankyou Lord thankyou oh I love how my life flows gently all by itself, I love how everything is turning out beautifully for the very best, and I love knowing feeling and understanding the whole picture in whatever limited way I am doing so anyway

Precious Daughter, you are simultaneously with the Stones and with your inner 3 year old and 6 year old and and and you see, yes you do perceive the simultaneity of experience including past life and futures too, all coalescing and meeting, emanating and cohering HERE NOW AS US
do not imagine your brothers dislike you for that is a lie – your brothers utterly love you and are in awe of you in truth……….yes allow this to permeate your being – it was you who rejected them not the reverse, because they were insufficiently sparkling activists awakened ones or whatever criteria you represented which they felt inadequate to fulfill…….so the mutual rejection illusion simply disappears ahhh see it washed away, like an old ink blot in a fresh stream……………..just as Iona could not enjoy her life except by the way you have taught her such reverence and awe for nature, such refined awareness of tastes and music gifted through your loving instruction, so too with Roger and Mark – you were the benchmark for their values – a very high bar no doubt, but an attainable ideal……….. they will remember you stretching doing yoga singing running laughing so very free and easily in ways they feel they could never compare, plus your speaking and writing fluency, and so very many other personal attributes you have such effortlessness in because they simply are who you are. It cannot be easy living up to such, my precious one, so you need to give them compassion from your bottomless well of compassion, and give them courage from your own store which is equally limitless in fact……..hah yes the more you draw on it the more it fills up – yay! This is the law of the universe, the law of abundance, no less, right here demonstrating itself!
Yes it is deeply humbling in its loftiness is it not my beloved one.

But Lord please tell me, do I need to go and visit Elizabeth, do I need to go anywhere? Do I need to put my book out there? Please help me to relax and know, for a part of me still struggles and worries, albeit a smaller part of me
ah Ruth there is no more time to worry there is no more time to make plans and there is no more time to organise your life – it is perfect and perfectly unfolding exactly as it happens to be, as it happens – wink
yes but shouldn’t I……….
no you should and ought no more
the perfect words always come to your lips and your fingers do they not
the perfect synchronous events and meetings occur do they not
the perfect awakening blossoms does it not
the perfect images and recall happens does it not
the perfect love between you all resonates does it not
what then is to trouble you
sit rather in rapt attention for the kingdom is unfolding with a great awesome rumble
Be the monk you, on the highest Himalayan mountain turret, viewing impassionately and with utter calm the approaching tide of transformation he has been welcoming all his existence, have you not sweet being
there is nowhere to go, noone to see, nothing to feel;
all is complete, all is ready, all is the blossoming of flowers as the smile of the Blessed Mother, throughout the surface of Gaia as she births herself into her glorious ascended Self
hands off now
mind neutral now
floating
floating

Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet

Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet.

Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet

                                         Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet.

 

Ah summer is returned to us : brightness and warmth to dispel the damp of a prolonged deluge. I am grateful I dislike feeling cheated out of summer, so long awaited, so deeply needed. And now that I have so many babies to raise in the allotment it is even more pressing a need. Life in this sector of the planet is not balanced, and I admit to never having acclimatised myself to the huge swing between a 6 hour day and a 20 hour day of light. I have a horror of the land of the midnight sun, especially during the depth of winter when the sun never manages to peek above the horizon. Sunlight has always been very important to me, so it is quite intriguing to me to be introduced to the concept of being a light emitter in my own right. The idea that our bodies are holders and radiators of energetic rays measurable on the spectrum of light is fascinating. I grew up with the picture and the notion of Jesus as the Light of the world, banishing the forces of darkness with His Presence. But now to come to a realisation that I myself am a light carrier and conveyor, and that the forces of darkness cannot remain in my effulgence whilst it is aligned with the Christic Light sealed within me, is both an awesome and a sobering thought.

 

Yet the burden of responsibility for this role as Lightbearer only weighs on my rational mind, endlessly playing catchup with the rest of my consciousness like some pitifully crippled child, anxious to be included but afraid of being knocked over. The totality of my being is right at home and up for it! It is of course our natural condition, from before we got so distracted, upended and scattered. And yet the truth that even or especially this phase of our story was intentional and allowed for sort of knocks the wind out of its sails, doesn’t it? If everything is indeed in Divine Right Order, and God’s Plan of Perfection is unfolding exactly as it should, which it must be as He is Omniscient and never took His guiding hand from our shoulder, then what could there possibly be to fear but the demons of the unknown which are not even real? Do we continue like frightened children or rather step fully purposely and willingly into our own Divinely appointed role as bearers of Divine Light? For the longest time I was in hesitation, because the name Lucifer synonymous with satan the epitome of evil, means Lightbearer………….so what if there is this whole other fake light we could be induced like moths to the flame by? How to discern light from light, indeed? Having been taught that the devil, being angelic, if fallen, is multitudinously more clever than me and consequently capable of fooling the best of us with his guile deception and lies, how to distinguish between the various forces acting upon me?

 

Luckily for me I have always been capable of casting critical questions at authoritarian and societal norms. Consequently most of my views are diametrically different to those apparently held and practised by the masses. Numero uno is my innate respect for the sanctity of all life, which led me to veganism as the fundamentally least harmful way to be. From that firm foundation it has been arguably easier for me to extend the circle of my compassion out to my fellow man in all of his self wrought suffering and deliberate cruelty. A rather morbid fascination with the issue of wickedness, and how it has been both harnessed and disguised by control figures in order to promulgate evil. Human unkind’s right of free choice turned into a weapon of mass destruction because we innately fear it, and thereby hand over the reins of our power to those we have been duped into believing are superior decision makers. Forbid that we get it wrong! Forbid that we make fools of ourselves! But consider this my beloveds, what if there is no way to be wrong? What if that concept too is a weapon turned against us? For surely all the evidence points to humanity going down the pan precisely because we have refused to take up our personal power, out of deliberately induced fear?

 

I was taught as a child that I have an unerring internal compass called my conscience, which always alerts me to sub-optimal choices before they escape the contemplation stage. So, simply, if we never allow ourselves to entertain negative dark vengeful or fear thoughts in any of their guises, then we cannot stray from our true path, can we? The problem has been the tarnishing of the reflective mirror that constitutes our conscience, and of how the light we echo one to another has been progressively dimmed by the shadowplay and supposition so ubiquitously spread. A blind man when asked how he saw, replied  “feelingly”. Aha, feelingly, yes, therein lies a jewel of apprehending and perception open to us all, if we did but listen to it’s constant call. Babies and little children respond to theirs instantaneously, crying at unpleasant and laughing at pleasant sensations which occur in them. But we have become so numbed by the escalating scale of horror and violence, fed hourly by the mass media and mass medication industries of death, abuse and imprisonment.  We have learned to repress override ignore and cancel our sensate signals, in order to follow the agenda and orders of ‘civilisation’. I like that Amerindian quote that reminds us: “Before the white man came we had no prisons and therefore no criminals. If a man had no horse or tent he was provided with them.” wow! How simple, how very like Jesus’ teaching to feed the hungry, comfort the afflicted, clothe the naked………..so what distinguished the invading white man from the native people who lived in sustainable harmony with their environment? It is more than weight of numbers, especially when you look deeper and appreciate that we are not billions of separate entities but very much a collective as a species. How could we have allowed our principles and standards to drop so fast and so far? Books have been written by better minds than mine, and I deliberately choose to focus upon being part of the solution rather than further underlining the problem. Anyone who reads my blogs or scans my posts on facebook ought to have recognised the thread of the truth given to me to share : attack thoughts in any form including the idea of defense, for defense is merely disguised reason to attack…………any violence perpetrated especially upon the most innocent and vulnerable, any subscription to the concept of ownership, hoarding and security we have been progressively duped into signing…….. these must be ripped out of our hearts and torn from our minds. For these fake contracts are slowly but surely suffocating and killing us all. Very soon now I shall write my last words, so let me make them beautiful and precise ones. I can do no better than Jesus Himself who told us:

“Love one another as I have loved you”

for “other” read any apparent non self which appears in your sphere, under whatever form and guise they show themselves. Be not discriminating about who or what you extend your love to, for we are all part of the indivisible whole, and therefore not loving any aspect is to condemn us all to the downward spiral of suffering and rejection, condemnation and hell. If the devil himself appears before you he cannot long remain whilst you hold the impenetrable forcefield of love unwaveringly around yourself. Fear is the only thing we need to banish, and that happens automatically when the truth that only love is ultimately real is accepted and practised fully. Ignore the multitude of distractions, the enticements to judge and spurn, the delectation of temptation and the apparent ubiquity of sin. Follow rather the evidence of love which is in all created things. The exquisite beauty of nature moved Saint Francis to ecstasy, and he was moved to preach to the fish in the sea, and to commune with the birds of the air, and to harm none. Veganism in action right there. How very tragic then to witness most present day followers of Francis as they munch on corpses and dine on death, sup on trauma and absorb terror which the animals endured so unnecessarily. Whilst I am not in any way casting any other slur upon the Godly work they are doing, it is my bounden duty to point out that even in my lifetime Franciscans used to practise abstinence from flesh foods as essential an aspect of their lives as celibacy. So too with the Benedictines, is this not so?

 

Practise then what you preach, people! Be love, demonstrated. Be compassion in action. And embrace whatever aspect of your shadow it has been your habit to hide from yourself………… all that is petty and mean, unworthy and unkind does not need to be tousled with but merely illuminated by the ever brightening effulgence which is shining from your deepest essence. And so together we shall shine away the nothing that the dream of darkness was, and come fully to be the light, and the love, that we are. End the struggle which can only intensify the polarity;  trust, and allow God to move through us unimpeded by the resistance of the spirit of unworthiness. Undeserving we might be but still and eternally He loves us! It is in spurning that Love we surrender ourselves to its opposite. Please study “A Course in Miracles” which puts these things so very much more clearly and eloquently than  I do.

Now that I have shared the message given to me I am free to walk in the light! Enjoy the sunshine whilst you may xxxxxxxxxx

HERE WHERE LUCIFEARIA AND UTOPIA MUST MEET

                                         Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet.

 

                 Ah summer is returned to us : brightness and warmth to dispel the damp of a prolonged deluge. I am grateful I dislike feeling cheated out of summer, so long awaited, so deeply needed. And now that I have so many babies to raise in the allotment it is even more pressing a need. Life in this sector of the planet is not balanced, and I admit to never having acclimatised myself to the huge swing between a 6 hour day and a 20 hour day of light. I have a horror of the land of the midnight sun, especially during the depth of winter when the sun never manages to peek above the horizon. Sunlight has always been very important to me, so it is quite intriguing to me to be introduced to the concept of being a light emitter in my own right. The idea that our bodies are holders and radiators of energetic rays measurable on the spectrum of light is fascinating. I grew up with the picture and the notion of Jesus as the Light of the world, banishing the forces of darkness with His Presence. But now to come to a realisation that I myself am a light carrier and conveyor, and that the forces of darkness cannot remain in my effulgence whilst it is aligned with the Christic Light sealed within me, is both an awesome and a sobering thought.

 

              Yet the burden of responsibility for this role as Lightbearer only weighs on my rational mind, endlessly playing catchup with the rest of my consciousness like some pitifully crippled child, anxious to be included but afraid of being knocked over. The totality of my being is right at home and up for it! It is of course our natural condition, from before we got so distracted, upended and scattered. And yet the truth that even or especially this phase of our story was intentional and allowed for sort of knocks the wind out of its sails, doesn’t it? If everything is indeed in Divine Right Order, and God’s Plan of Perfection is unfolding exactly as it should, which it must be as He is Omniscient and never took His guiding hand from our shoulder, then what could there possibly be to fear but the demons of the unknown which are not even real? Do we continue like frightened children or rather step fully purposely and willingly into our own Divinely appointed role as bearers of Divine Light? For the longest time I was in hesitation, because the name Lucifer synonymous with satan the epitome of evil, means Lightbearer………….so what if there is this whole other fake light we could be induced like moths to the flame by? How to discern light from light, indeed? Having been taught that the devil, being angelic, if fallen, is multitudinously more clever than me and consequently capable of fooling the best of us with his guile deception and lies, how to distinguish between the various forces acting upon me?

 

             Luckily for me I have always been capable of casting critical questions at authoritarian and societal norms. Consequently most of my views are diametrically different to those apparently held and practised by the masses. Numero uno is my innate respect for the sanctity of all life, which led me to veganism as the fundamentally least harmful way to be. From that firm foundation it has been arguably easier for me to extend the circle of my compassion out to my fellow man in all of his self wrought suffering and deliberate cruelty. A rather morbid fascination with the issue of wickedness, and how it has been both harnessed and disguised by control figures in order to promulgate evil. Human unkind’s right of free choice turned into a weapon of mass destruction because we innately fear it, and thereby hand over the reins of our power to those we have been duped into believing are superior decision makers. Forbid that we get it wrong! Forbid that we make fools of ourselves! But consider this my beloveds, what if there is no way to be wrong? What if that concept too is a weapon turned against us? For surely all the evidence points to humanity going down the pan precisely because we have refused to take up our personal power, out of deliberately induced fear?

 

            I was taught as a child that I have an unerring internal compass called my conscience, which always alerts me to sub-optimal choices before they escape the contemplation stage. So, simply, if we never allow ourselves to entertain negative dark vengeful or fear thoughts in any of their guises, then we cannot stray from our true path, can we? The problem has been the tarnishing of the reflective mirror that constitutes our conscience, and of how the light we echo one to another has been progressively dimmed by the shadowplay and supposition so ubiquitously spread. A blind man when asked how he saw, replied  “feelingly”. Aha, feelingly, yes, therein lies a jewel of apprehending and perception open to us all, if we did but listen to it’s constant call. Babies and little children respond to theirs instantaneously, crying at unpleasant and laughing at pleasant sensations which occur in them. But we have become so numbed by the escalating scale of horror and violence, fed hourly by the mass media and mass medication industries of death, abuse and imprisonment.  We have learned to repress override ignore and cancel our sensate signals, in order to follow the agenda and orders of ‘civilisation’. I like that Amerindian quote that reminds us: “Before the white man came we had no prisons and therefore no criminals. If a man had no horse or tent he was provided with them.” wow! How simple, how very like Jesus’ teaching to feed the hungry, comfort the afflicted, clothe the naked………..so what distinguished the invading white man from the native people who lived in sustainable harmony with their environment? It is more than weight of numbers, especially when you look deeper and appreciate that we are not billions of separate entities but very much a collective as a species. How could we have allowed our principles and standards to drop so fast and so far? Books have been written by better minds than mine, and I deliberately choose to focus upon being part of the solution rather than further underlining the problem. Anyone who reads my blogs or scans my posts on facebook ought to have recognised the thread of the truth given to me to share : attack thoughts in any form including the idea of defense, for defense is merely disguised reason to attack…………any violence perpetrated especially upon the most innocent and vulnerable, any subscription to the concept of ownership, hoarding and security we have been progressively duped into signing…….. these must be ripped out of our hearts and torn from our minds. For these fake contracts are slowly but surely suffocating and killing us all. Very soon now I shall write my last words, so let me make them beautiful and precise ones. I can do no better than Jesus Himself who told us:

“Love one another as I have loved you”

for “other” read any apparent non self which appears in your sphere, under whatever form and guise they show themselves. Be not discriminating about who or what you extend your love to, for we are all part of the indivisible whole, and therefore not loving any aspect is to condemn us all to the downward spiral of suffering and rejection, condemnation and hell. If the devil himself appears before you he cannot long remain whilst you hold the impenetrable forcefield of love unwaveringly around yourself. Fear is the only thing we need to banish, and that happens automatically when the truth that only love is ultimately real is accepted and practised fully. Ignore the multitude of distractions, the enticements to judge and spurn, the delectation of temptation and the apparent ubiquity of sin. Follow rather the evidence of love which is in all created things. The exquisite beauty of nature moved Saint Francis to ecstasy, and he was moved to preach to the fish in the sea, and to commune with the birds of the air, and to harm none. Veganism in action right there. How very tragic then to witness most present day followers of Francis as they munch on corpses and dine on death, sup on trauma and absorb terror which the animals endured so unnecessarily. Whilst I am not in any way casting any other slur upon the Godly work they are doing, it is my bounden duty to point out that even in my lifetime Franciscans used to practise abstinence from flesh foods as essential an aspect of their lives as celibacy. So too with the Benedictines, is this not so?

 

            Practise then what you preach, people! Be love, demonstrated. Be compassion in action. And embrace whatever aspect of your shadow it has been your habit to hide from yourself………… all that is petty and mean, unworthy and unkind does not need to be tousled with but merely illuminated by the ever brightening effulgence which is shining from your deepest essence. And so together we shall shine away the nothing that the dream of darkness was, and come fully to be the light, and the love, that we are. End the struggle which can only intensify the polarity;  trust, and allow God to move through us unimpeded by the resistance of the spirit of unworthiness. Undeserving we might be but still and eternally He loves us! It is in spurning that Love we surrender ourselves to its opposite. Please study “A Course in Miracles” which puts these things so very much more clearly and eloquently than  I do.

And now that i have delivered my message I am released to walk in the light that calls me outdoors – enjoy it whilst you may xxxxxxxxxxxx

HERE WHERE LUCIFEARIA AND UTOPIA MUST MEET

                                         Here where lucifearia and utopia must meet.

 

                 Ah summer is returned to us : brightness and warmth to dispel the damp of a prolonged deluge. I am grateful I dislike feeling cheated out of summer, so long awaited, so deeply needed. And now that I have so many babies to raise in the allotment it is even more pressing a need. Life in this sector of the planet is not balanced, and I admit to never having acclimatised myself to the huge swing between a 6 hour day and a 20 hour day of light. I have a horror of the land of the midnight sun, especially during the depth of winter when the sun never manages to peek above the horizon. Sunlight has always been very important to me, so it is quite intriguing to me to be introduced to the concept of being a light emitter in my own right. The idea that our bodies are holders and radiators of energetic rays measurable on the spectrum of light is fascinating. I grew up with the picture and the notion of Jesus as the Light of the world, banishing the forces of darkness with His Presence. But now to come to a realisation that I myself am a light carrier and conveyor, and that the forces of darkness cannot remain in my effulgence whilst it is aligned with the Christic Light sealed within me, is both an awesome and a sobering thought.

 

              Yet the burden of responsibility for this role as Lightbearer only weighs on my rational mind, endlessly playing catchup with the rest of my consciousness like some pitifully crippled child, anxious to be included but afraid of being knocked over. The totality of my being is right at home and up for it! It is of course our natural condition, from before we got so distracted, upended and scattered. And yet the truth that even or especially this phase of our story was intentional and allowed for sort of knocks the wind out of its sails, doesn’t it? If everything is indeed in Divine Right Order, and God’s Plan of Perfection is unfolding exactly as it should, which it must be as He is Omniscient and never took His guiding hand from our shoulder, then what could there possibly be to fear but the demons of the unknown which are not even real? Do we continue like frightened children or rather step fully purposely and willingly into our own Divinely appointed role as bearers of Divine Light? For the longest time I was in hesitation, because the name Lucifer synonymous with satan the epitome of evil, means Lightbearer………….so what if there is this whole other fake light we could be induced like moths to the flame by? How to discern light from light, indeed? Having been taught that the devil, being angelic, if fallen, is multitudinously more clever than me and consequently capable of fooling the best of us with his guile deception and lies, how to distinguish between the various forces acting upon me?

 

             Luckily for me I have always been capable of casting critical questions at authoritarian and societal norms. Consequently most of my views are diametrically different to those apparently held and practised by the masses. Numero uno is my innate respect for the sanctity of all life, which led me to veganism as the fundamentally least harmful way to be. From that firm foundation it has been arguably easier for me to extend the circle of my compassion out to my fellow man in all of his self wrought suffering and deliberate cruelty. A rather morbid fascination with the issue of wickedness, and how it has been both harnessed and disguised by control figures in order to promulgate evil. Human unkind’s right of free choice turned into a weapon of mass destruction because we innately fear it, and thereby hand over the reins of our power to those we have been duped into believing are superior decision makers. Forbid that we get it wrong! Forbid that we make fools of ourselves! But consider this my beloveds, what if there is no way to be wrong? What if that concept too is a weapon turned against us? For surely all the evidence points to humanity going down the pan precisely because we have refused to take up our personal power, out of deliberately induced fear?

 

            I was taught as a child that I have an unerring internal compass called my conscience, which always alerts me to sub-optimal choices before they escape the contemplation stage. So, simply, if we never allow ourselves to entertain negative dark vengeful or fear thoughts in any of their guises, then we cannot stray from our true path, can we? The problem has been the tarnishing of the reflective mirror that constitutes our conscience, and of how the light we echo one to another has been progressively dimmed by the shadowplay and supposition so ubiquitously spread. A blind man when asked how he saw, replied  “feelingly”. Aha, feelingly, yes, therein lies a jewel of apprehending and perception open to us all, if we did but listen to it’s constant call. Babies and little children respond to theirs instantaneously, crying at unpleasant and laughing at pleasant sensations which occur in them. But we have become so numbed by the escalating scale of horror and violence, fed hourly by the mass media and mass medication industries of death, abuse and imprisonment.  We have learned to repress override ignore and cancel our sensate signals, in order to follow the agenda and orders of ‘civilisation’. I like that Amerindian quote that reminds us: “Before the white man came we had no prisons and therefore no criminals. If a man had no horse or tent he was provided with them.” wow! How simple, how very like Jesus’ teaching to feed the hungry, comfort the afflicted, clothe the naked………..so what distinguished the invading white man from the native people who lived in sustainable harmony with their environment? It is more than weight of numbers, especially when you look deeper and appreciate that we are not billions of separate entities but very much a collective as a species. How could we have allowed our principles and standards to drop so fast and so far? Books have been written by better minds than mine, and I deliberately choose to focus upon being part of the solution rather than further underlining the problem. Anyone who reads my blogs or scans my posts on facebook ought to have recognised the thread of the truth given to me to share : attack thoughts in any form including the idea of defense, for defense is merely disguised reason to attack…………any violence perpetrated especially upon the most innocent and vulnerable, any subscription to the concept of ownership, hoarding and security we have been progressively duped into signing…….. these must be ripped out of our hearts and torn from our minds. For these fake contracts are slowly but surely suffocating and killing us all. Very soon now I shall write my last words, so let me make them beautiful and precise ones. I can do no better than Jesus Himself who told us:

“Love one another as I have loved you”

for “other” read any apparent non self which appears in your sphere, under whatever form and guise they show themselves. Be not discriminating about who or what you extend your love to, for we are all part of the indivisible whole, and therefore not loving any aspect is to condemn us all to the downward spiral of suffering and rejection, condemnation and hell. If the devil himself appears before you he cannot long remain whilst you hold the impenetrable forcefield of love unwaveringly around yourself. Fear is the only thing we need to banish, and that happens automatically when the truth that only love is ultimately real is accepted and practised fully. Ignore the multitude of distractions, the enticements to judge and spurn, the delectation of temptation and the apparent ubiquity of sin. Follow rather the evidence of love which is in all created things. The exquisite beauty of nature moved Saint Francis to ecstasy, and he was moved to preach to the fish in the sea, and to commune with the birds of the air, and to harm none. Veganism in action right there. How very tragic then to witness most present day followers of Francis as they munch on corpses and dine on death, sup on trauma and absorb terror which the animals endured so unnecessarily. Whilst I am not in any way casting any other slur upon the Godly work they are doing, it is my bounden duty to point out that even in my lifetime Franciscans used to practise abstinence from flesh foods as essential an aspect of their lives as celibacy. So too with the Benedictines, is this not so?

 

            Practise then what you preach, people! Be love, demonstrated. Be compassion in action. And embrace whatever aspect of your shadow it has been your habit to hide from yourself………… all that is petty and mean, unworthy and unkind does not need to be tousled with but merely illuminated by the ever brightening effulgence which is shining from your deepest essence. And so together we shall shine away the nothing that the dream of darkness was, and come fully to be the light, and the love, that we are. End the struggle which can only intensify the polarity;  trust, and allow God to move through us unimpeded by the resistance of the spirit of unworthiness. Undeserving we might be but still and eternally He loves us! It is in spurning that Love we surrender ourselves to its opposite. Please study “A Course in Miracles” which puts these things so very much more clearly and eloquently than  I do.

And now that i have delivered my message I am released to walk in the light that calls me outdoors – enjoy it whilst you may xxxxxxxxxxxx

REVELATION IS FOR SHARING

REVELATION IS FOR SHARING

I am happy today
how do I know?
Because I am not unhappy…..not in pain, not sad about the state of the world, as I so frequently am.
What, then is different about today?
Today is a special day, with a special feeling of anticipation that something wonderful is happening, right now………..almost as if the floor of my life is being peeled away, and what formerly appeared to be old worn lino is lifted away to uncover the living breathing responsive vibrant mossy ground of my true being – ahhh!
Oooh so revelation of true ground of beingness, no less
yep!
Awesome!
Surely is, and this is just the beginning – the base layer ground level………..
for the longest time have I been beavering away at the subterranean level of my being : excavating / mining / tunnelling / digging………you get it, finding my real roots and hidden depths kind of intense focussed hard work.
Ah, and how do you know that phase is completed then?
Because the lino is peeling away
oh yes you said that, brilliant. So what happens next?
Anything I wish, anything I desire, anything I place the focus of my awareness upon.
Oooh, cooool……….as long as you’re not thinking of negative stuff though, right?
Oh I am so very far beyond mental traps like that….slid into and crawled out of too many pits and sloughs to fall for them ever again.
How come you’re so sure of that, I mean even to the point of sounding a tad arrogant?
I am in the directors chair now, the drivers seat, the painters brush is in my hand, or whatever simile you like to use. I realise that it has been habits of reaction formed by years of conditioning which placed a lethally dark shadow upon my viewpoint. Now having come to terms with, found forgiveness for, all of that which brought me to this present point of nowness, unscattered and awake, unfazed and aware, there is no thing to worry about. All and everything is indeed unfolding exactly as it should in Divine Right Order. There is no fail, no wrong choice and no mistake, no accident and no hidden demon. Everything is out in the open, declared, clear, perspicacious and obvious.
You feel to be the power in your own life then?
No I am not, God is the Power, I am merely His instrument. For the last decade and more I have been attempting to discern His Will for me, and to escape my petty little will. Now I understand that these are one and the same, when I am authentically joined up. The small desires were only ever the product of misdirected energy, and reaching for some unknown comfort and security in a profoundly disorientated and twisted environment.
Uhuh..
being whole, complete, and entirely here and now, whilst simultaneously holding awareness of my multi-dimensional aspects raying out in every direction and plane of existence, whilst meeting in my very centre and balance point,. The epicentric replaced the egocentric. But I had to come to a point of zero conflict with the egoic consciousness : neither repelling nor being pushed by it, do you see? I once imagined the ego to be my enemy and consequently sought to demolish it, but it only grew larger. Then I attempted to live in peace with it but it only caused disruption. Finally I came to a place of resolving the tension, by letting go of my side of the rope, so to speak. As with children and water, if you refrain from imposing boundaries upon them they find their own level and settle.
So similarly did it come to pass with my learned patterns of reactivity. When one is at zero gravity there is no efforting to get there or remain there – zero gravity being the sweet spot of perfect poise in acrobatics, the zone of effortless stillness in motion of martial arts, the nirvanah of meditation, the awareness of the Presence of God right here within the high sacred heart around which all revolves in perfect harmony. It is the end of struggle and the beginning of the dance, the settled space where all is clarity not chaos………as if being perceived from outer space in its totality and nonattachment. This point is usually only attained at death in humans because of the myriad accrued miasmic maya. But when one is prepared by acceptance of self, circumstance, and at peace with everything, thanks to the special Graces of this epochal time of completion and resolution, where all things/beings recognise themselves as One whole : spiritual ascension occurs. So one passes beyond duality and polarisation. The end of the time-bound circumstantial state. And finds ones Self still embodied : all that has passed away were the illusions of separation, need and lack. What died were the attachments and issues which so preoccupied the former life. Serene omnipresence results from this passage through the narrow gateless aperture………I recall during shamanic training reaching a psychic inner threshold and being asked “Are you worthy to pass through this door?”
“Yes, I am worthy” came my response, even as a doubting part of me willed to shrink back from this bright observation point where nothing can remain hidden. That small part of me was amazed that I could dare to pronounce myself worthy, when she had grown up feeling unworthy, not good enough etc. She succeeded in distracting me sufficiently that I became once again circumscribed and in self imposed limitation. Who did I think I was, came a familiar maternal voice nagging and slapping with her slipper round my legs – get back in that cage and shut up!

On another occasion of near death experience, I found myself among a host of angelic beings of every shade and hue imaginable, each uniquely different and none superior in any way to any seeming other. It was obvious then that my own true colours were equally beautiful and complimentary, and in no way clashed with any other colours. There was some understanding that those who had endured particular experiences whilst incarnated, such as having murdered another, having sacrificed themselves for others, and so on, wore a particularly distinctive garment of light, so to speak. All were honoured the same, no distinction or preference, no hierarchy or judgement belonged at this place removed from such splittist sentiments. It might be as if those who were without legs wore blue and those without eyes wore green, for example, and there was no preferentiality, merely acknowledgement of the cross each had borne. The plain fact was that every apparently separate, but in truth conjoin ed, one of us there, had been required to attain a point of acceptance – beyond pity, denial, or struggle with who and what we had been / done in order to reach this place. There was no sorrow here whatsoever, there was only joyfilled levity and mutual honouring of the Divinity of Us as formerly fractured aspects now restored to Oneness.

I am just reminded of an early experience of non-disdain / non-disgust at my fellow man where I transcended the learned practice of scornful finger-pointing disdainfulness. It was whilst observing a family who had left a revolting mess of used nappies and other filth deliberately behind for others to clear up. I was at a camp site in Wales with my brother, long before I became a mother, and he was vociferously condemning these “lowlifes”. Somehow I found myself in a place of zero disgust, and complete nonjudgment. Thinking about that here and now, I imagine it could be the way animals are not snootily disgusted by whatever they witness other creatures doing, or about where they happen to be…….. there was a non-local awareness or dis-awareness. Or maybe it could better be described as a state of elevated compassion and non-irritation? I am not conveying it very well am I……….. suffice it to say it was a much calmer place to be experiencing from than where my normal stance would have been. How much of our normal reactions are obviously conditioned and learned and copied from others! This accounts for a great deal of prejudice, and the whole nasty human trait of making of themselves a special group or status for the specific goal of excluding others. Classism, speciesism, ageism, elitism………. all designed to differentiate us from one another when what we really need to be doing is transcending every apparent difference and focussing on that which unites us.

Another time I was moved to sit down beside a tramp and sing to him, from a space beyond pity or fear or even of interest ; purely as an act of giving, upliftment, sharing, solidarity, inspiration……… but beyond all such conceptualisations also. It was not until my self-consciousness returned as my singing came to a point of closure that I noticed the eyes of others upon me, for I had been singing with closed eyes, just my voice offered up to alleviate perhaps some pain, and to vocalise my overwhelming desire to express my gratitude to God for being alive and sentient. I happened to find myself, alone in Barcelona with 3 hours to get through and not being remotely interested in looking at anything……….it was however not until I had stood up, turned and bowed to my companion with respectful aknowledgement of His Godhood hidden yet revealed, and was walking away congratulating myself for having done a selfless act of being an earthangel for a. n. Other, that I heard a titter of Angelic laughter about my ears and the hilarity as they said:
“She thinks that she was the angel for him – hee hee how funny is that!”
When all along it was of course the opposite. I had been the one out of my depth in the city, uncomfortable and self-conscious, needing a place to rest from the babble and strife of the rushing teeming traffic of humanity. That was a humblingly humorous moment for me, for the angels were not laughing at me nor poking scornful fingers, but hugging me in a delightful embrace as one does a child in compassionate heart-opened delight at their innocent strivings. Indeed that being who had taken the form of a tramp and caused me to feel moved to sit next to him and sing, was probably angelic. He might even have been Christ in disguise, as some have alluded to
And yet it was not opposite either, for at that time and for that space there was no tramp, no ruth, no throng…..there was a praising and worshipful offering, in the dimension of sound, and doubtless others too, straight to God from the one place of reverential gratitude and awe.
I like being in that place – it is expansive, warm, and safe.
It is the palm of God.
I am in that place now, and that is why today is a happy day

TIGHT ROPE SLACK RESOLVE: dismantling the statute of personal limitations

DISMANTLING THE STATUTE OF PERSONAL LIMITATIONS

 

We were in flight mode from something to somewhere, Begoss, Kody and me. There were others with us. A small group. We had to climb up this impossible-looking vertical corner, which when we started (I was not in front!) proved to be of softish material a bit like spongy plastic, which allowed us to wedge ourselves into the corner at the same time as ascending somehow. In spite of my lack of faith in my own ability to do this, One was pushing from behind with a mixture of encouragement and command, which helped me to be not ruth in struggling inadequacy, but a purpose driven being, doing what must be done.

Beyond the next level we journeyed on together, efforting to blend in somehow with who and what surroundings we found there. Faces, gestures, appearances all differed markedly from what used to be normal, thereby encouraging and enabling a loosening of identity with what was possible. Movement towards dismantling of the statute of interpersonal limitations. Carved not in stone, but merely offered as temporary, transcendable guidelines.

Eventually the travelling troupe found ourselves on a windy mountain ledge, which was obviously very high up from the coldness of the air and the rareity of the atmosphere. Quite how dizzyingly high up was only revealed when the spindly bridge traversing the gaping chasm before us was confronted as a reality….no, not realistic at all! My mind and body shrank back from the very thought of stepping out onto this bridge. For it was not a bridge, it was merely two strands of wire stretching forth into space and presumably, logic reassured, connected with its further end tethered somewhere to the far mountain. Very far – it being a distant darker patch against the open expanse of nothing but sky and rather thin air. In between a tantalisingly motile bunch of misty clouds danced and writhed. Looking down, oh wow that was a big mistake – the sheer drop brought an instant stomach lurch and vertigo response, and my hands involuntarily shrank back to the cliff wall behind me, grasping as a baby monkey clings to its mother who is swinging through the trees. But it was not some natural climber lofting my bodily across; it had to be my own legs striding forth, eyes never below navel level, like the confident fool of tarot card depiction. Gulp. Hang on, it suddenly occurred to me, how would Begoss get across this non bridge? He could not walk along these two wires, they were too far apart, and he certainly could not balance upon one of the tightropes as his feet and physiology belied such a possibility. I am not going without him, came the inner decision, even as Another voiced the possibility of sacrificing him to the quest, that the rest of us might complete our traverse. Oh yes, and then when we need food further along, said a third, whom shall we eat, then? No, let us make ruth carry him on her shoulders across the ravine! Shoot, what if he struggles and disturbs my already tenuous balance? I shall require both hands firmly upon the waist level wires strung above the two walk wires to balance myself, so Begoss had better be very still and trusting, draped around my neck like a living foxfur.

My mouth is desert dry, and my shaking hands somehow work to counteract my quaking legs, as inevitability collided with impossibilty. The first three of us were well along in front, and the strung ropewires did not bow or sag or sway, so that was at least reassuring. All I had to do then, was ignore the focus upon anything which swirled around me and keep steadfast and resolutely single pointedly moving forward. Don’t stop even for a moment or you’ll freeze, an inner voice warned. Right, imagine it a done deal, the further cliff shore is in sight and you’re counting down the remaining steps betwixt you and it. Imagine yourself as at home and relaxed here as that person who stopped and fried an egg in the middle of a wire-walk strung between two tower blacks. Using the chair he had casually carried to sit upon whilst he did so. Then, as calmly arising; balancing chair and frying pan in opposing outstretched arms and smilingly continuing his walk. Imagine you are merely an actor, and this is a film set, with a reassuring but invisible glass floor. Ah that is SO much better, yes, I can convince myself that is so. Get on with it then, step on it, and it will be too late to change your mind. Come on, the One behind is clearly impatient, and implying that my reticence is transmitting to the others –must set a good, positive example. Bravery doesn’t come into it, for what is the difference between courage and conviction? Like faith and belief, there is no gap between them when the faith is real and the belief is genuine, right?

Right then, if I call one of these mountains faith and the other one belief…… but which is which…stop prevaricating it doesn’t matter its the same difference remember! Ok ok then, er, how about if one of my feet is faith and the other belief, and they know perfectly well how to walk in unity with one another without my conscious control. Indeed as with learning any motor skill, it is only when conscious control is superceded by automatic skill that any movement is perfected. Mmm so do I need to imagine I have been doing this all my life but temporary amnesia has concealed that memory from me? Act as if you know what you’re doing, fake it till you make it, that sort of thing? Ruth you’re still vying for time when you could already be on the other side had you not prevaricated. Just do it. OH my God I can’t believe that I’m………

BELIEVE believe “I believe/ mantra / prayer /positivity/ upliftment…..”

Am I actually out there walking or still shrinking back afraid? No, the wind all around me says this is the real deal, and I am actually tightrope walking, with a dog on my shoulders.

“ Chin up, Buttercup, you look lovely!” winked  the angel who floated along beside me.