Jumping the heartwall


Ah the beautiful
invitation of the blank page, tabula rasa upon which the eternally
fresh surprising unknown may be invited to tread ::

sunlight is scant this
morning so all the more precious; not unlike absent loved ones – we
are forced to rely upon their memory imprints within us – or after
their death we look for / turn to the parts of them which we have
kept alive within ourselves. How realistic these aspects might be,
how identical to the truth of that person, is an interesting
question. In some ways we exalt exaggerate and reify them, and with
some people the opposite : vilify, callumnify, castigate and judge. Yet
even though we have good reason to hold these assumptions due to the
copious examples we can cite; all the “he did this to me” and
“she never did….” IF we can get just one small but crucial step
away from the knot/not………..

when we allow in a breath of freshness and the
opportunity of seeing / feeling it anew

rather than through the cages
of our outgrown limited selfdom;

when we open the roof on the dusty
old house, a miraculous thing can occur.

We might glimpse life from the other’s perspective, we can transcend the surly crushed pouting
wronged party’s entitlment obsession and actually learn something important.  About what really went on,

about them, about life, about

A precious friend told me that he would not be able to sort out his issues until
his father was dead – it was just too unsafe and awful  –
dangerously ragemaking maybe, says I? Meaning for me to be confronted
with the actual presence of my greatest tormentor now in the fullness
of my awakedness and power to express what I was incapable of saying
or responding when those things were happening…….. why would you
too not avail yourself of this golden chance to repair a wound which
has festered for decades? Because you don’t believe it possible to
alter anything; you can’t undo the past or erase a suffering or
delete a wrong?

BUT it truly is possible to view what happened from a higher position of expanded and empowered isness………..even if it begins from the premise that perhaps one would be a less
compassionate person had one not been so injured in the past –
which could relax the tetanus grip of the event sufficiently to
enable a space to open between then and now…..

otherwise we condemn ourselves to constantly keeping it real and constantly happening in
the now, which is what we do because there is no linear time for the
subconscious, everything is happening now for it! Do you get that realisation? That we hold ourselves in the fire years afterwards and the pain the shame the blame or whatever is stuck to it

is forever re-enacting in a totally real way.

Hence the futility of saying get over it / pull yourself together / get a grip. None of that can touch
the memory whilst it is walled off.  This is where the wondrous techniques of energy medicine can work their magic! Here is the portal through which we can rescue our distressed trapped self!

In my story “Cloudbusting” the heroine learns how to influence the miasmic clouds she is clairvoyantly able to notice around people she cares about. So she sets about healing everyone, soothing furrowed brows and calming ruffled feathers at first. Then, gaining confidence, she
becomes the shaman she truly is, and engages in outright soul retrieval journeyings.

Laudable and lovely as these selfless acts of love may be, they are a messiah
complex in the making, because she is using them to avoid dealing with
her own woundedness and lost inner child. If she could only turn the
intensity of her spotlight within, to illuminate and dissolve the
blocks around her self-allowance, the heartcage would show up like
the great wall of China strung across her inner landscape and visible
from outer space!

Then one day far in the “future” of the story she is weaving about her, she is brave enough to pray for her own blocks to be removed, because she feels at last confident in her own goodness to risk the resultant power surge. And so it is – and lo!

: There is no explosion or implosion at all, there is no tsunamic release or backlash, there is in contrast a fathomless influx of Extraordinary Grace and an incalculable expansion of
Unconditional Love : she becomes a vessel of Blessing Bestowal,

such is her massively ramped up capacity for Radical Compassion. She finds
her inner fearlessness, accesses her utter limitlessness, and truly holds with confidence the sword of Truth and the shield of Enlightenment which have been awaiting her arrival – waiting for her to show up as a consistently whole Presence.

Aha! One of the irascible fears she had sewn in place to prevent the heartwall
dissolution had been the belief that she would cease to live once all
barriers were removed – and yes in truth she did cease to exist
from the egoic perspective, because all the blocks her notions of self
were built upon blew away those referents. In a twist to the 3 little
pigs tale it is the pig who does not build bricks around himself who
is saved, because he trusts in his own ineffable safety – the
Providential Protection which has provided consistently everything he
could even need before he even asked for them. No? Do you honestly
still think you have continued to be incarnate by virtue of your own
efforting struggle? Please…….!


Let go that sphincter control
and come into the presence of your living awareness right here now

there is no
on to be racing on towards………

there are
no pressing constraints of time – look you now : the clock has



and know



there is no wall! there is no pain! there is no barrier – none at all between your heart and mine…

we just made them up, thunk them into imaginary existence from the fear place………..

see when we incarnate into the helplessness of infancy, come into the forgetfulness of the 3D, and the illusion of utter dependency predicated by the difficulties of the human childhood experience, we are taught the rules of limitation and subjected to the whims of dominion. Until we at last awaken to our true selves, accept the mantle of our own innate ineffable Sovereign self along with the response-abilities that connotes – and as we become what we truly are and live from and as the harmlessness benevolence and beauty of our birthlight, we automatically cease viewing others as others – even those we may have been repelled by we find the ability to see in and from the innocent purity of their babyhood. Addressing only and relentlessly THAT in them, and discounting the rest as so much window-dressed posturing survival tribal dance-enactment untruth …………… it becomes very clear that the bigger the tyrant the greater their fear……..

so stop feeding that fear with any reaction to it,  and hold them only in and as LOVE which is the only real truth regardless of all appearances………….

here in this common ground, this field of allowance

is all the Grace any of us will ever need

is all the Love we require for the unification of our diversification

is all the understanding and clarity our tiny logicality ever craved and sought in vain for…………

here in this isness which is placeless spaceless beyond boundary nowhere: now/here

the potential of the void opens up to us:

as we think so we are

as we allow so we grant unto ourselves

as we give so shall we be gifted

give then love, to the fullest extent of your being!

and come back and tell me what happens to you, through you 🙂

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